just junk

What a long sleep that was. Actually not much sleep but lots of rest and alot of thinking and planning. I made it thru 4 chemo treatments of A/C! I only have 4 more to go and the next brew is Taxol! ughhhh, I am so hoping this one goes as smoothly as the last despite the diver thing. That is doing well btw. I am on liqueds mostly although they did authorize some solids alot actually but I still am not liking much food. My best friend is Ensure. I like it and I can drink it just fine and it's filling and thankfully it gives me enough protien. I dress it up too. I add a banana and frozen yougurt or ice cream and ice cubes and ahhhh heaven. I am kinda sick of butternut squash soup and back to liking the beef broth. I am getting thin! I like that cuz I did want to lose weight but I certainly don't want to get tooo thin cuz that just looks sick and I don't look sick. I feel a bit sick but I don't look to bad. My people here say I look good but who knows if they are just being nice, I am choosing to believe them :).

So, this is what I have been working on..... I was approached at the feel good meeting I went to by the hospital and the american cancer society rep that was there to market my little wigs that I have been making. They are simple and comfortable and amazingly enough don't look like I am wearing a wig at all. I tried the wig thing with the ones from the wig store and they to me were outrageously expensive even the free one they gave me is tooo itchy to wear for any length of time and I always feel like its going to blow off my head I can't wear it if its windy and good Lord I live on the beach it's always windy here! so needless to say I didn't wear it.

After I let the boys give me a buzz I was like omg now what so I made my own. Its comfy its cute and it looks like my hair. So I am at this meeting and most of the gals in there with me are sporting their bald heads and look beautiful and said they just don't like wearing the wigs because they are itchy and uncomfortable. They look to me and say you are lucky you still have your hair! I said oh but I don't, this is just something I made.

At that point the american cancer lady and the hospital lady ask me to come to the front and asked if I would share how it looks underneath. first thought was OMG I am going to take this off and all these women are going to see my little buzz cut the boys gave me!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk but I did it. and this one lady pulled off her wig and said I paid 800 dollars for this wig and I like yours better!!! I paid about 8 bucks to make mine :) Anyway, they asked if they could talk to after the meeting and asked if I would make a proto type and market it. I said hmmmm well yeah I guess.

I called my attorney brother and talked to him and he said Kath you need to do it. It won't make ya rich but its a good idea. so than the diver hit and everything went on hold. Since than I have made another 6 wigs for myself and they all look great I feel comfy and thought yanno I need to think about doing this again. !


I have to survive and that is my goal. I have to forget that the man I love, loves his vices more than he loves me. I will miss him every single day of my life. I truly love that man ~ but apparently he doesn't love me as much... I will survive.